It’s been a couple weeks since I have blog but I have had a very very heavy heart and didn’t know how to talk about things in my life that was going on without making sure I can pray about it and get a good understanding and clarification from God. When you decide to move on with life and involve another adult in your kid’s life who are not the biological father sometimes things can go left instead of going right for you in the family with me things are going right for a good minute until these kids got older teenagers felt that I was betraying them for him they felt that since I got Married had a new baby that I had forgotten about them but that wasn’t the case at all I just felt that at as a single mother at one point having them at a younger age by myself I gave them a lot of attention all my attention so then when I got married I understand that marriage you have to sacrifice a lot to make this relationship works and that’s what I did.
It’s not easy bringing in another man to raise another man kids but my husband was doing his best as long as the boys were allow him to be in their life but at one point they felt that that’s not their dad and wanted to rebellious against him and that’s what they did. My first son Anthony rebelled against my husband and now he’s no longer in the household with us my second son Antjuan is trying to do the same thing but I am praying and put it in God’s hand that he can see a different point of view. So that is why my heart was so heavy these last two weeks me and my son got into a little confrontation and he had left and told me I was a bad mom and I never felt that I’ve ever been in bad mom any really hurting my feelings so I’ve been struggling with dealing with that for some weeks but when I went to church on Sunday I felt that a heavy load has been lifted off my chest I went to The Altar and got prayed for and just felt like the burden was getting lighter and lighter off of me it broke me down and made me even more vulnerable than when I was before but the blessing at the end of it is with my son and antjuan came up there and he gave me a hug letting me know that we’re going to be okay.
What I’m trying to say is that I gave it to God and he showed me and make me feel this burden been lifted off of me and letting me know that everything in my family is going to be okay me and my son are back talking we had a nice long conversation and we’re going to communicate better my husband and my son has had a very nice conversation and they’re going to do the best to get them a relationship back on track so I’m just blessed and thankful that this opportunity has happened for me and my family because that’s all that’s all I’ve ever wanted was to have a happy strong family because as a young black woman didn’t have a mother I didn’t have father my life was really confusing and at times it’s still is and I just pray everyday for strength to go on and be a strong mother for my boys and a good wife for my husband.